I don’t think I’ve ever had so many things on my to do list before with such little to no motivation to do any of it.
I don’t know what to do.
To give you a visualizer, I have my Calendar and Reminders apps open together on one desktop screen so I can keep track of what I have going on in the day plus what I have to do (homework assignments, work assignments, other things to do, etc).
While this makes me feel like the most organized person in the world at times, it is really letting me down right now. Rather, I am letting myself down here.
I have almost 20 back-logged items on my to-do list and I have no clue how to catch up.
Okay, well, that’s not all true. I have an idea—a plan, if you must—of how to get through it all, but execution is a completely different subject.
Note: I’m taking this blog post as a moment to think out loud right now, so bear with me.
It’s 1:05 AM right now on a Friday. I’m planning to wake up in about six hours to get ready for school. I’ve got meetings on online classes on more meetings and then in-person classes all lined up for the day, so there is no room to mess this up. BUT TOO LATE. THE MESSING UP HAS ALREADY BEEN DONE.
I should be finishing up my part on a group assignment—a report, to be a little more specific—right now because our group needs to present this in nine-ish hours. Now, that doesn’t seem terrible, but I have been pushing off this report for the past five days, so what makes it seem like I’m going to write it right now?
It doesn’t help that I’m thinking out loud instead and not actually typing words onto my page, but I could use a moment to think.
At the beginning of the week, I assigned myself certain tasks to complete on certain days, and I will say that the first day worked out pretty well.
I gave myself two assignments to work on (and keep in mind that these assignments should have been done back in January, but who’s keeping track, and I right?) on Monday and I got them done before the end of the day.
Very proud moment.
That feeling of checking two items of the list in one day was like… getting off work three hours early and still getting paid for those three hours.
I could not be more relieved and at ease.
And then Tuesday came around, and I did nothing. Yes, I went to class and had everything in my calendar all figured out and lined up… but the comfortable habit if slacking off had returned in no time.
So, here we are on an early Friday morning, half asleep with my report open, and eight other assignments to get done before tomorrow because I didn’t feel like doing them earlier. How convenient.
Moral of the story? If I’m going to tell myself that I need to get something done today, I’m going to get it done. Enough of this ‘I’ll do it later’ or ‘I can just push it off till tomorrow’ talk. I’m not helping myself in anyway shape or form here—unless you like to think like me and call this a moment of utter perseverance hehe, which is just a half-glass-full way of looking at this situation.
It’s time to get something done for once and that time is… well… a few hours from now, once I’ve finished up my part of the report and gotten a solid four-ish hours of sleep, and survived my back-to-back meetings and classes, etc. You get the gist.
I will get something done today, and I hope you do too. Cheers.